“He reflects the creative energy of real artists.”
Penny Arcade’s Mike “Gabe” Krahulik summarizes Eric Burns as well as anyone.
Websnark, a webcomics-only review blog from the first-and-a-half generation of internet reporting, has swept the ordinarily basement-shut-in world of webcartoonists with its tumbling prose, its breathtaking K2-like vistas, and its elegies second only to the more-familiar dactylic hexameter.
So that initial quote must be a point of pride for this younger statesman of webcomics. Rather than assume so as Modern Humor Authority often does, we asked Eric, the author behind Websnark.com, what moves his suns, and moons.
Modern Humor Authority. Did you think, when you began Websnark, that you would end up such a revered figure in the webcomics world? I liken the scenario to Willy thinking he was going to be in “just another boy-saves-whale picture.” And we all know how that ended up.
Eric Burns. I’m perpetually surprised anyone actually knows who I am. When I first started Websnark, it was actually so I could separate out webcomics and other web-centric commentary from more “serious” writing. That lasted maybe eighteen minutes. These days, Websnark kind of dominates my creative life. That anyone else reads it is always somewhat amazing.
MHA. We here at MHA critique the gamut of bleeding-edge internet culture, but we admit a certain fondness for webcomickry. Is there a more compelling medium that fires your nova? If not for webcomics, would we be reading Moviesnark? Interpretivedancesnark?
EB. I think it would probably have something to do with puppets. Puppets are like flash animation without the licensing costs, after all. Besides, if we’ve learned anything from Avenue Q, it’s that America’s hunger for puppets is just beginning to be recognized.
MHA. The thought of there being only one Eric Burns to sic on a world of critiquable culture fills me with a deep and abiding emotional moribundity. Yet your prolificacy is startling — are you, in fact, two men? Is there time in your schedule for more?
EB. There is, in fact, a second Eric Burns. He was once an NBC News reporter. Then he went to work for Entertainment Tonight. Now, he is wholly an apologist for Fox News. Needless to say, if I can ever track down an effective Ninja clan willing to take outside work with excruciatingly low rates, there will be only one Eric Burns once more.
Though, that other Eric Burns did write a book on how America’s Founding Fathers were a pack of drunks, so that should be noted in his favor.
MHA. How droll. The online world teems with hidden talent as thickly as a lukewarm bathtub of agar would teem with cryptosporidium. Name some great standouts for us.
EB. Ursula Vernon. Why Ursula Vernon’s Digger isn’t in the top four webcomics online I haven’t any clue. PvP, despite the turgid curse of being popular and respected, remains one of the absolute best webcomics out there. Kurtz just does this stuff right. Greg Holkan’s Nemesis deserves a huge audience because he’s so good at this stuff. And speaking as someone who’s become a webcomics writer, T Campbell really is the best pure writer in webcomics, bar none.
MHA. Micropayments. Which model do you believe in, the McCloud Standard? The Morrison Fish-and-Loaves Approach? Perhaps King’s musings on “the infinite paddlewheel?”
EB. I don’t believe in any of them yet, while at the same time believing in all of them. I think the evolution of the Web has been away from the McCloud Bitpass-style micropayments system. Hell, I read more webcomics than anyone, and the only time I ever did a bitpass micropayment was to read Apocomon. The system that seems to work the best right now are the subscription models — Kolchalka’s site only offers one strip and charges just shy of two bucks a month for access to its archives, but it’s two bucks I gladly pay. That works out to significantly less than the quarter or dime a strip that McCloud espoused, but Kolchalka ends up taking in significantly more in the long run.
One thing I don’t think is going to keep working is the Milholland Appeal method. It worked for Something Positive because Milholland didn’t expect it to. It’s worked to a lesser extent elsewhere. However, there are just too many webcomics out there to be supported by public radio style pledge drives, and not enough fans with enough disposable income to make it happen. Merchandise, advertising, subscriptions and the like may be a little boring in comparison, but they’re proving more effective for more people than anything else.
At the same time, I think the pursuit of workable micropayments is worthy, and I heartily support the discussion and debate — the experiment can only succeed if it’s tried, after all.
MHA. Does Eric Burns believe in ghosts?
EB. Oddly enough, ghosts don’t believe in Eric Burns. Evidence has been presented to them, but they continue to scoff. There is no basis in the cold, hard world of Afterlife Science to accept the possibility of an Eric Burns’s existence.
MHA. Gossamer Commons. Did your inner Keith stumble upon the story in a dark alleyway of your psyche? Or did it bloom forth as fully as your characters’ decision to quit Ithaca?
EB. I’m… not entirely sure what you’re asking here. I’m not entirely sure you’re sober. I’m not even entirely sure I’m sober. You do validate parking, don’t you?
Anyway, the webcomic idea, way back when, centered on Trudy, who’s a character who’s been referred to instead of seen as of the time I gave this interview. I framed a ton of Trudy stuff in my head, until it occurred to me that it was all a pile of schticks without unity. I needed something better — a real story structure — to work within. Keith and what happens to him became that, and Trudy slid into a much better role within that structure.
MHA. Pundits might consider your perhaps-rushed, since-apologized-for snarking of the recent Keenspotgate newsbox debacle your first stumble. Was scraping your knees as bad as it first seemed?
EB. I think I’ve stumbled plenty of times. The snarking of the newsbox scandal was heartfelt, though I had some facts wrong. When that happens, you own up to it and move on. The difference there was the screwup got as much attention as the scandal — in a way, it was a threshold event. It meant people were paying attention.
And it really wasn’t so bad. I got a lot of homophobic mail from Penny Arcade fans — which kind of surprised me, because Penny Arcade’s actual take on the snark wasn’t homophobic at all. I don’t blame them for their fans’… well, ‘zeal,’ I guess is the word. It also helped give me some perspective on how some of the real giants in Webcomics see me. I suspect I needed that. Certainly it helped deflate my ego a bit, which is generally a good idea.
MHA. Don’t even get me started on that strip. Now, we know who Had You and Lost You — it’s plastered on your sidebar as a sort of tuq vo’tuH, to use the Klingon. But who’s really having you recently? Who’s finding you?
EB. If this is asking about my love life, I’ll have you know that a gentleman never stoops to that kind of crass….
Oh. Webcomics. Heh. Um… yeah.
Skinny Panda was a revelation that kind of came out of nowhere, despite the fact that people had been telling me for some time I’d love it. And even though “It’s Walky” went on my “They had me, and they Lost Me” list, Willis’s followup, Shortpacked, jumped right out and grabbed me by the throat. But then, David Willis is good at that. I think he practices skulking in shadows during his free time.
MHA. Finally, I have to admit I’ve been waiting to ask you this question for quite some time — where does the magic come from?
EB. Zabar’s at Broadway and 80th. They have a decent magic selection. Their cheese selection is kickass, too. And you can grab a good kosher salami there.
You *do* validate parking, right?
MHA. Parking validation is a sign of a greater ill, a nanomilieu in which red-jacketed valets re-enact past indiscretions.
Websnark. Eric Burns. Rays of force emanate from him, visible only by looking within the self. We thank him for his time.